Abstract: Growing up, I was always taught the importance of family and how family is always first no matter what. Navigating society, I’ve noticed that many young adults have issues with their families, and many who have no connection or love for their family because of past disagreements. I wrote this essay to highlight that no family will ever be perfect, but in the end, they are still everything. I’ve made sure to keep my tone neutral and respectful to those who have gone through serious abuse and trauma from their families.

Community is Family

             When people think of “Community”, they think of a group of people who shares similar ideas. A group with a specific mission, or a specific hobby that is shared by all members. To me, a community is a Family. The feeling of belonging, no matter what. Whether it be different views on life, political beliefs, cultural barriers, whatever that comes to mind that is different, you will always be able to come home to family. 

            There is one thing about my family that stands out to me the most, and that is hard work. As a child of immigrants, I was able to learn that coming to a new country for a new life isn’t easy. To learn and adapt to new societal expectations, a new language, and even a new political system. An important sacrifice that needed to be made to bring food on the table, is their time with us. Mom and dad worked hard every day, running a Chinese takeout spot in the hustle and bustle of Midtown Manhattan. As a result, we were primarily raised by our grandparents. Grandma always held our hands tight as we walked to school, telling us stories and motivating us to be our best selves. When the school day ends, we were picked up by grandpa who prepared food for us while grandma worked until the evening. Grandpa’s meals were not just food on the plate, they were love. Something that made us feel cared for and at home. In the evening, grandma sung us Chinese lullabies to sleep and by the time mom and dad are home, we were fast asleep.

            No matter how close I have grown to my friendship circles or the people from work, the feeling of walking through that door back home to your family is a feeling those people are never able to give you, and it is the only place where I am able to feel like my truest, authentic self. There will be times where problems arise, you may yell at your family, curse at them, say hurtful things, or even run away from them. But when you choose to return, they will only welcome you back with open arms. Family is the only community where you can have the worst fight and tomorrow will be another new day. 

Family has always been a complicated word for me, a word that has evolved for me as I grew older. In today’s radical world, family could be almost anything. One single mother with a child, two mothers with a child, or even one person with three dogs could be considered family. However, when I was little, I always perceived family to be a mother, a father, and a child. Over time, I learned that family shouldn’t be defined by traditional ideas, but rather a community of love, trust, and belonging. Family is the first community we are born into, the one community we will carry with us throughout lifetime, and without family, there is nothing.